#Women

Motivate Me Mondays: Experiencing true LOVE

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“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

No matter what LOVE may look like these days, I still believe that true, passionate, undeniable, crazy, exciting love is still possible with the right person. You can meet a person and know right away that they are meant for you, as if GOD hand picked that person just for you and nobody else. Robin and her fiancé share a strong love that genuinely shows through all that they do. Sometimes you meet a couple and you can feel the love and that is exactly what I have experienced being around this wonderful couple. I wanted to give them a chance to share their love story with others in hopes it will motivate someone to never give up on love because the person meant for you could be coming sooner then you expect. Here is their love story:
1. Tell me a little bit about yourself and your fiancé
My name is Robyn K, Harris and I’m 25 years old. I’m currently a Social Worker at Union County Department of Social Services as an investigator, CPS (Child Protective Services). My fiance’s name is Dontavius Mobley and we will be getting married on, April 15, 2017. I graduated from North Carolina A&T with my BSW. Donta graduated from Charleston Southern University with a degree in Biology. He is currently employed through Carolina Medical Center as a Histotechnologist.
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2. Where are you and your fiancé from?
I’m from Bridgeport Connecticut however was raised in Charlotte, NC. Donta was born and raised in Rock Hill, SC, where we currently reside.
3. How did you meet?
We met June 2011 at Wendy’s. We used to work together. We both have our own stories on how we met, lol. He says I stalked him and I simply disagree. Lowkey, he’s right, lol. We went on our first date July 10, 2011 and the rest is left unwritten. Stay tuned!
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4. What is special about your relationship and what makes your love story unique?
Everything about our relationship is special. It may sound cliche’ but God made me for Donta and Donta for me. We are complete opposites. I am bold, loud and outgoing while Donta is quite, calm, cool and collective; however we are the perfect balance. Donta treats me like a Queen and he notices things about me that I don’t notice about myself. He encourages me to reach my highest potential and believes in me, more than I believe in myself. I give him the confidence to be unapologetically him. I bring out the crazy, fun Donta that only a few people have seen. We compliment one another.
5. What type of role has GOD played in your relationship?
Without God, there would be no us. We are far from perfect but know without God, we are nothing. I am a big prayer and I pray about everything. Donta and I pray together as well as fellowship with one another and one of our goals is to build a stronger relationship with God as one. We found a church home that we both thoroughly enjoy and agree that God is the foundation of our relationship. Pray our strength in the Lord!
6. What are 3 key things that are important in a relationship?
Loyalty, Respect and Honesty
7. What encouraging words of advice would you give someone who feels like love is just not possible ?
God is love. Love comes naturally and shouldn’t be forced. Love yourself first and when God is ready, your happily ever after will come when it’s least expected. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is beautiful.
8. Additional comments/add-ins/things you would like to include that is not covered in the questions above?
Thanks for allowing me to share our love story : )
Robin and Donta, I wish you nothing but love and success. Congratulations on your wedding that is coming up on April 15, 2017 and remember to always keep GOD first no matter what!
Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women judge other people for the things they deal with as if we’ve never been in similar situations?

As a woman who has been in plenty of situations that I never expected to be in I always tread lightly when it comes to speaking on the things I see other people deal with. I have learned that I cannot always judge another person for what they are dealing with when I do not know their story and when I have been in the same or similar situation myself. However, seeing things like people sleeping with married men and/or trying to mess up another persons relationship on purpose is something I definitely judge BUT that is another topic for another day. Today I am simply referring to situations such as the ones we find ourselves in when it comes to our relationships.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen other women talk down about someone who continues to stay with a person that has done them wrong as if they haven’t been that woman before. People hurt people in so many ways by cheating, lying, being deceitful, mentally and physically abusive, being conniving, putting other people and things before her and the relationship, not taking her feelings into consideration, constantly running away from problems, etc. You cannot always prevent someone from hurting you so when you also have to deal with people judging you for how you deal with it makes things even worse.

I remember seeing Tammy Rivera Malphrus, who is the wife of rapper Wakaflocka, publicly dealing with her husbands infidelity in their marriage. Tammy made a decision to separate from her husband for awhile because simply put, she could not deal with the disrespect any longer; she was fed up. She did not divorce him or bash him she simply did what was best for her at the time but this did not change the fact that she was still married nor did she fully give up on her marriage. Leaving her husband had women showing her so much love and support trying to uplift and encourage her but the minute Tammy decided to work on her marriage and take her husband back things changed. I saw so many comments from women judging her, tearing her down, criticizing her, and ridiculing her as if she was wrong for working things out with her husband. Tammy married this man and vowed to stick with him through the good and the bad and a lot of women have been where she is but were quick to judge her for the decisions she made.

Ladies if you are a woman who is now in a better place in life, try not to forget where you came from and what you had to deal with and put up with to get to where you are today. Do not look down on other people because they have not reached that point in their life yet because you too use to be exactly where they are; we have to be a little more understanding. This not only applies to relationships, but also friendships, financial status, job status; you too may have struggled in these areas just like the next person. We also have to remember to not judge people when we have our own personal problems and flaws that we need to work on so the more you focus on yourself and try to uplift others the better off you will be.

Let Tay Tell It

Motivate Me Monday: Keeping it REAL

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Angela Rye was born on October 26, 1979 in Seattle, Washington to Andrea Rye and Eddie Rye Jr and she is also a graduate of the University of Washington and Seattle University School of law. She is a CNN Political Commentator, an NPR Political Analyst, and the Principal and CEO of IMPACT Strategies. Angela has been featured is several publications from Ebony to the Washington Post. Angela has a long list of amazing accomplishments from NAACP Power 40 to Fortunes 40 under 40 Women to watch to DC’s most influential people.

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Angela Rye is the perfect example of keeping it real and she does it with such force and power; she does not hold back nor does she sugar coat anything. We live in a world where we are hit back to back with things that affect us more then we may realize yet people in power try to downplay it in hopes of people forgetting just how bad it is. I have not seen Angela try to downplay nor sugar coat anything and I respect her for that! She brings honesty with a heavy dose of realness to our TV screens because she is not afraid of being ignored or overlooked by other people. She proves time and time again that nothing anyone says nor does will stop her from being as real and as authentic as she can be.

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Often times in life we let what others do to us make us feel powerless and we let the words and actions of people chase us away from being our real, authentic self. Everyone in this world will not like you and they will not agree with you but that should never stop you from standing firm in what you know and believe. Let Angela Rye be the example you need to stand strong no matter what and to remain motivated when trying to achieve what you know you are meant to do in this world.

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women choose to be defensive and mean before choosing to tell someone how we really feel?

As a woman who is learning more and more about herself everyday, I can honestly say that I have had my fair share of situations that have caused me to put up a wall when it comes to letting people in. I have become use to being mean and defensive because I learned at a young age that nobody will protect me the way I can protect myself and really telling someone how I feel was not always an option. Unfortunately this stuck with me and now, at the age of 26, I am working on changing these things about myself but IT IS NOT EASY. The most important thing I have learned while working on this is that you can loose out on having some good people in your life if you choose to be defensive and mean instead of choosing to be honest about how you really feel.

I honestly believe that sometimes as women we are so passionate about protecting ourselves and our feelings that we forget how that can effect the people around us who honestly want to love us and be friends with us and care for us. Being passionate about this usually comes from being so hurt and damaged by people we expected to love and protect us. We have to stop letting people who hurt us make us mean and situations that almost broke us make us defensive because that hurt doesn’t last always and almost doesn’t count; you’re still here because what could have broke you didn’t ! My last relationship is when things really got worse for me as far as how I handled dealing with telling someone how I felt. I was in a relationship where I had to be defensive and I had to be mean because it was the only way to defend myself because trying to communicate how I really felt wasn’t taken seriously. It was not until the end of that relationship that I promised myself to change how I handled things because I knew that I could not continue doing things the same way.

Ladies you will be surprised how relieved you will feel when you properly communicate how you are feeling instead of choosing to be defensive and mean all the time. My friends help me to stick to this path that I am on with changing myself and now my current relationship is helping me stay on track as well because for the first time in a long time I am with someone who does not make me feel like I have to be defensive and mean. AGAIN, this is not an easy thing because I catch myself being defensive and mean when there is no need for that but I am with someone who understands the change I am trying to make so he is super patient with me. We have to make a conscious effort to change these thing about ourselves whether it is in our friendships or our relationships because loosing someone all because you chose to be defensive and mean instead of speaking up about how you feel the proper way is not a good feeling; trust me I have been there, done that, and had it happen to me. Do not be like me, be BETTER then me, and learn from me.

Let Tay Tell It

Motivate Me Mondays: Chasing after your destiny

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“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – William Jennings Bryan
I believe it is our responsibility to achieve the things our hearts desire because to live a life with regrets can cause more bad then good. We cannot let fear hold us back because the hardest part about achieving what we want is actually starting it. We can talk about it, think about it, and even dream about it but to make it become something real we must take a chance.  Todays motivational story is about a young lady who is choosing to chase after her destiny and not allowing any obstacles or set backs she may face, to stand in her way; here is her story:
Tell me about yourself
I am Robin Butler, a twenty-four year old licensed natural hair care specialist/ educator in North Carolina and the owner of Created Coily Inc. As a proud alumnus of the Illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, excellence breeds through my personal and professional brands of success. My holistic view on natural beauty and healthy hair development stems from my lifestyle, focusing on the balance of mind, body, and spirit. Our hair style is simply an expression of our inner minds. 
I’ve always loved hair every since I was a little girl. I would collect and buy so many hair magazines it wasn’t even funny. It has always been my niche; easy and fun for me to talk about. Outside of entrepreneurship and business- I enjoy learning and teaching. I’m preparing to go back to school in the next year to obtain my Juris Doctorate in Law and Masters in Business Administration. I love going to my church, spending time with family and friends, and practicing all things regarding holistic health and beauty.
What is Created Coily Inc. ?
Created Coily Inc. supports a new age of natural beauty which fosters and supports the healthy state of kinky, coily, wavy, and curly hair. Created Coily Inc. (The Experience and Style) is a organization of natural hair professionals and a thriving community of families who embrace natural hair and living. We are the home of C2 products, apparel, and a wide range of services which include Salon Services and Consulting, Educational and Lifestyle Workshops, and the CoilyCRATE subscription box; created with you in mind.
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How long have you been natural ? 
My last chemical service was done in 2013, which was 4 years ago. 
What natural hair tips do you have for all the beautiful natural hair women who are just starting their natural hair journey ?
My natural tips would be to enjoy the ride and not to rush through each stage. My hope would be for you to really take the time to learn not only your hair, but your health, and yourself. That is where the ultimate power and growth begins to transform within yourself.
What makes Created Coily unique?
Created Coily stands alone because it is not only a brand, it is also an identity to the future of Americans. Data presented by the National Geographic Center released in 2015 stated “By 2050 everyone in the United States will have curly hair and some variation of brown skin.”  Created Coily Inc is an American Curl Company, organically grown in North Carolina. We don’t just have lifeless shelf products, we have hair products that are sold in local community beauty salons which help the keep small businesses viable in our community. Our products teach our clients about their hair and are approved by the stylist treating the clients hair. Our apparel “Respect the Fro and Locs” or Black Girl Magic are worn proudly by our consumers around the country. Our quarterly subscription box meets subscribers at their door step every four months to help women stay inspired and find solutions when it comes to their hair journey. Created Coily is unique in the industry because we are natural hair care specialists creating experiences, culture, and style for each one of our customers to fit their healthy hair and lifestyle needs.
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What was the driving force behind you starting this business ?
The driving force behind me starting Created Coily Inc. was knowing that if I looked beyond myself and my own issues, I could create an identity and a platform for the future that would stand the test of time. We would solve solutions to issues and create a space to talk about it. Everyday I’m continuely reminded of this driving force because of my own hair truths, both pretty and ugly.
What set backs or obstacles, if any, have you had to overcome?
In the last two years with Created Coily, there has been a million set backs but I think that is just the nature of the business. It wasn’t one set back that wasn’t worth the experience I gained. I think one of the biggest set backs I had to overcome was having to learn and fill every role of my business until  I get to place I can hire and employ others. I am the web developer, graphic designer, financial analyst, photographer, videographer, IT, supply chain and logistics, stylist/chemist and manufacturer, production manager, public relations, shipping/delivery and legal analyst. You have to not only learn these roles but perform them professionally everyday. My degree was completed in General Economics, so for me this was a learning curve. I fell in love with my brand and that’s the only way I’m overcoming it. 
How would you define success ?
Success is your ability to stay the course and not give up on the very thing that can change the trajectory of your life.
What keeps you motivated ? 
Being able to chase after my destiny and full potential everyday. I love being able to wake every morning and look forward to going to my work space and being able to create what I see in my head then make it into a career; that keeps me motivated. 
What are 3 tips you would say are vital to the success of a business ?
Three tips vital for a successful business in my opinion would be:
1. solid marketing
2. authenticity/creditability within your industry
3. passion/love that is undeniable
Where can people go to learn more about created coily and purchase one of your products?
To learn more about Created Coily Inc. you can visit our websites at www.createdcoily.org to learn more and createdcoily.com to Shop. Be sure to follow us on IG and Twitter @createdcoilyinc. You can also follow my personal and professional journey on Youtube at Naturally Rob.
Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women tell people, who are not our true friends, our personal business?

As a woman, I cannot stress to you enough the importance of having real genuine girlfriends. Friends are important in life because they keep you grounded, lift you up, encourage you, motivate you, support you, and  most importantly keep your personal, private business to themselves. However, sometimes you come across people who seem nice and genuine and you may feel as though they are your friend but in reality they really aren’t. Sometimes these people aren’t able to be a good friend to you because no one was ever a good friend to them which results in them treating you wrong and betraying your trust.

While it is wrong for people to betray us, we also have to stop blindly trusting a person before we even truly get to know them. We also have to pay attention to the signs because sometimes a person will show you the type of friend they will be to you before you even begin trying to develop a solid friendship. There are people in this world who are use to being in toxic friendships, so hurting someone that is supposed to be their friend is normal to them. I have encountered many different situations that involved me finding out really soon and sometimes too late that someone isn’t and was never capable of being my true friend.

I learned early on to not share my personal business with someone who is not my friend because it only took me one time of being betrayed to really learn my lesson. However, recently I dealt with a situation where I was told someones personal business because they felt as though it was okay to blindly trust me before trusting someone who they were actually friends with. I met this young lady through a good friend of mine and I try to trust my friends judgement about their other friends they choose to bring around. I paid attention to how she handled things and a few months or so after meeting her I realized that she was not capable of being a good friend to me because of how she treated the girl who is our mutual friend. After a disagreement occurred, she felt the need to tell me her personal business instead of calling her friend and working through the things that were causing their friendship to now spiral out of control. Instead of taking ownership for what she did wrong, she chose to tell me things in hopes of me “taking her side”, not realizing that not only was she wrong, she was not my friend; we were still working towards a friendship.

That young ladies decision to tell her personal business to someone who was not her friend is the perfect example of blindly trusting someone before you truly get to know them. Fortunately, for her sake, I am the type of person who was raised to keep what a person tells you in confidence to yourself because that is exactly what I would want someone to do for me. Ladies, we have to be careful who we tell personal things to because honestly not everyone has your best interest at heart and not everyone you meet is at a point in life where they are able to be a good friend to you. If you ever find yourself trying to build friendship with someone just remember to give it some time, show each other that you are both capable of being good friends to each other, and allow it really develop into a true friendship.

Let Tay Tell It

Sneaker Craze

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Adidas Consortium NMD City Sock 2

Release Date: March 11, 2017

Retail Price: $210

The Adidas brand, a German sportswear company, has a collection entitled Adidas Consortium. A new program called the Sneaker Exchange was launched, by the collection, to have 2 retailers team up to co-desgin 2 pairs of limited edition sneakers. This collection is made up of footwear that is designed by some of the most well known names, stores, and brands in the sneaker world such as Kith, Slam Jam, Sole Box, NAKED, SneakersnStuff, etc.

New York City Retailer Kith and Women’s sneaker specialist NAKED teamed up to create the NMD City Sock 2 which is now apart of the Adidas Consortium. The sock like sneaker comes in a pink and a sandstone color.

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Photo Credit: Sneakernews.com

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Photo Credit: Sneakernews.com

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Photo Credit: Sneakernews.com

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Photo Credit: Sneakernews.com

Where can I purchase this shoe?

Buy here now: eBay.com

Buy here now: https://www.kixify.com/kith-x-naked-x-adidas-nmd-city-sock-2-pink

*all pictures used are from Sneakernews.com

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women believe the first thing we hear when someone is trying to tell us something about our man?

Have you ever been approached on some “Im coming to you woman to woman” or “I know something about your man” or “Your man isn’t as faithful as you think he is” ? I know I have and I know I’m not alone when I say, that when that happens, it is the worse feeling ever. It’s like your heart has dropped into your stomach and you start questioning your entire relationship right away. Sometimes you get so caught up in what you’re being told at the moment that it becomes hard to make rational and sound decisions on top of responding to what you were just told, the proper way.

I understand how hard it is to deal with situations like this but this is when it is important to know the person you are with, be aware and alert of the level of happiness that exists in your relationship at the time, and DO NOT believe the first thing you hear. If a woman feels the need to come to you about a man you sleep with, talk to everyday, see all the time then be sure to do all your research, the same way I’m sure the other girl has done hers. Is she providing you with proof? Are all of her ducks in a row? What does your gut tell you when she starts telling you things about your man? This is the time to really dig deep and find out what your intuition is trying to tell you.

Often times we as women take the first thing we are told about our man and run with it because we allow all the emotions it brought us, to cause us to make irrational decisions. We have to handle these off guard situations better then that because often times, the other woman whose brining you this information is waiting to see how you will handle it but you must remember to “never let them see you sweat”. There are three sides to a story, his side, her side, and the truth but in order to find out the truth you must remain calm, level headed, and do not make a decision until you gather all the facts. Also, do not forget to TALK TO THE PERSON YOU ARE ACTUALLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP WITH before automatically assuming they are guilty of what they are accused of doing. Trust me when I say, that when you approach them with what you have been told you will be able to tell if it is the truth or not but whether or not you accept it, is your choice.

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women ignore all of the things we keep allowing, when these men end up hurting us?

Ladies how many times have you been told “that man only does what you ALLOW him to do”. Probably too many times to count right? I know that would be and is my answer. I have people from friends to family tell me this all the time yet I would still continue dealing with things I had no business allowing to even occur.

Please understand that I am in no way saying that these men are right for what they do to us and put us through but eventually you have to ask yourself why it continues to happen. It seems so simple especially when all you ask is for these men to do is be faithful, loyal, loving, respectful, and 100% committed. We do not get into these relationships expecting to be treated in ways no woman should be treated but it is life; its these situations that make us the women we are today. However, at some point you have to step back and look at the situation to see the part you are playing; realize the things you have been allowing.

These are times where we have to keep a constant reminder of what people have been telling us since guys were even a thought because we are so quick to blame the guy but after the 3rd, 4th, and 5th time of the same thing happening we need to start asking ourselves what are we allowing to take place that makes these men feel like they can continue doing what they are doing. Why do these men continue to hurt us is a questions that sometimes we already have the answer to and don’t even realize it.

The start of 2017 for me was the beginning of finally letting go of a situation I had been dealing with for longer then I should have. For me, cutting someone off and letting go involves taking a extreme measures from blocking on all social media to blocking phone numbers and emails to loosing all contacts with friends and family until I have reached a place of peace. This situation I was in was filled with ups and downs, tears, low self esteem, and a lot of things being allowed on my be half when I knew that I was better then that. There is no better feeling then cutting off a man you’ve allowed to have too much control over things like your feelings, emotions, and decision making. As women we try to become the type of women we say we would never be like but often times we become those women and that is because love makes you do crazy things.

So to all my ladies reading this, we have to move forward by making a conscious effort to not allow things that we shouldn’t even have to deal with in the first place. Stop allowing things from a man who would never allow it if the tables were turned, do not allow these men to have total control over your emotions; take that power back and continue working on becoming the right woman for the right man!

I would suggest reading this book which was recommended by a good friend. It is called Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa TerKeurst. This book is a great read that will help you to make decisions that aren’t not so heavily based off the raw emotions we sometimes deal with and can’t always control

Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women

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Why do we as women allow a man to string us along?

Often times, as woman, we forget that a man who wants to truly be with you, will simply BE WITH YOU! A man won’t allow anything to stop him or hold him back once he has it set in his mind that he wants to be with only you. You won’t have to question whether or not he wants to be with you, you won’t have to ask him, you won’t have to argue about it, stress about it, and you won’t have to convince him that he should be with you and only you.

It is so easy to forget those things once we get caught up in how much we like someone. We start seeing ourselves with them and imagining how great a relationship would be with them, not even realizing that the person is showing signs of not wanting the same thing we want. I’ve been in situations with guys, who I now know, did not deserve my time, energy, and attention; I ended up staying in situations longer then I should have because I kept allowing them to string me along. I allowed guys to give me a little ounce of hope, when in all honesty, they were really only saying things to keep me around just a little longer. They did not have it in them to tell me that their intentions were not to be with me, even though they had made me feel as though things would develop into something more. 

Often times men will meet a woman and they will do all of these wonderful things to make that woman like him. A man will get so caught up in doing this, that they themselves don’t realize the damage that they will cause once that woman realizes that he does not have the same intentions as she does. Often times a man will not come right out and be honest about the fact that they have been stringing a woman along; often times they aren’t going to sit you down and tell you that they don’t want the same things you do. This is the reason why we as women have to pay attention to the signs; we have to stop staying in situations longer then we are supposed to and make sure we make ourselves fully aware of a guys intentions with us. 

I encourage every woman to be careful about who you give your time to. Allowing a man to string you along is time wasted and that is time you won’t ever get back. 

Let Tay Tell It