Motivate Me Monday: Staying true to who you are

Raynell Steward aka Supa was born in New Orleans, LA. Supa is a very well known social media icon. If you know about her then I’m sure you have seen her funny videos and the various ways she helps other people. I remember the first time I came across her from seeing one of her funny videos and I automatically became a fan. As time progressed and I continued to keep up with her post I started to notice that she was more then just some videos. Supa is real, genuine, passionate, an amazing mother, friend, sister, cousin, daughter who is using her platform to not only make us laugh but help us advance in life! She allows the world to get a glimpse of her life and that isn’t always easy.

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Photo Credit: @supa_cent

As long as I have been following Supa, she has ALWAYS stayed true to herself and who she is. She has allowed the world to watch here grow as a woman and the growth is undeniable. People who are in the public eye are always judged and talked about by people who have nothing better to do with their time and it is sad. It is amazing being able to watch how Supa deals with people who question her or are out to challenge the type of person she is, the type of mother she is, and how she handles situations.

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Photo Credit: @supa_cent

 

Not only does Supa allow you to see her being a mother and a friend but she ALSO allows you to see things about her love life, she gives advice, and she shares things through the promotions she does. Often times we see a lot of people on social media who are heavily in the public eye doing things that aren’t always positive or putting on a front instead of being their true self. The reason why I am such a fan of Supa is because of how authentic she is and always has been. She never turned away from being who she is and she doesn’t apologize for it either. She has created an entire brand for herself and her following has increased tremendously but that does not stop her from giving advice, taking care of her family, and always showing love to those who truly support her.

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Photo Credit: @supa_cent

If you can learn ANYTHING from Supa it is how to stay true to who you are no matter what! Often times in life we allow things in our life to stop us from being who we really are. We allow what others say about us change us and its not a change for the good either. We have to stop doing this because there is no one in the world like you and to get the respect you deserve often time requires you to stay true to who you are. DO NOT let anyone or any situation stop you from being you; you’re true genuine authentic self.

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women say things we do not mean in relationships?

Ladies, just try to hear me out on this one, okay? It has become a natural and pretty much normal thing to hear guys talk about what a female really means when she says certain things. For example as a female when my man asks me “What is wrong with you” I will typically say “nothing, I’m fine” but my man knows deep down that if he just says okay and does not ask me again or try to get me to talk, it becomes a problem. How about when you are having an argument and you say to your man “leave me alone” but in reality we do not literally mean for you to leave us alone. These are just a few examples of us women saying things we don’t really mean; it is almost as if we want to test our man to see how far he would go to make sure we are okay. This is good and all, SOMETIMES, but then you have other situations where you say mean things to a guy because you’re hurt or because you’re dealing with a good guy and you don’t know how to handle it.

You play a tricky game when you say things you do not mean, you have to be careful. If your man is asking you what is wrong, tell him; he’s asking because he cares so don’t make him beg you every time. If you are in a situation and you want to tell your man to leave you alone just to see what he will do, don’t get mad if he actually leaves you alone; guys take things literally so most of the time they will not automatically think that you telling them to leave you alone, doesn’t actually mean that. With that being said, there are some times where I am all for making your man work hard to figure out what is going on especially if he is the cause of problem and knows what he did wrong; sometimes guys will “act” as if they do not know but they do.

We also have to be careful saying mean things in the heat of an argument. Ladies it should come to no surprise that our words can cut a man deep especially if it comes from a woman he truly loves; he may not show it how effected him like we as women do but it definitely does. An argument and/or disagreement should not the time where we try to hurt each other because nothing gets accomplished and feelings get hurt off of things being said that a person probably didn’t even mean. You do not want to loose someone you love from saying something that you didn’t even mean. I have seen women use their words to try to tear down a good man because lets be honest; dealing with good guys these days seems rare. If all you have ever known are lying, cheating, dishonest men why wouldn’t you expect a good to be putting on a front? Why wouldn’t you start to doubt the situation after while? Why wouldn’t you start to question things? I understand but to tear down a good guy by saying things that aren’t true can cause more harm then good so don’t push that good man away, embrace him.

From testing your man to tearing down a good guy plus any and everything that falls in between that, all results in saying things we do not mean. Things should flow pretty easily in a relationship so do not make it a permanent habit of saying things you do not mean or you may cause more problems then necessary. Also, always remember that your words hold more power then you may know.

Let Tay Tell It

Motivate Me Mondays: Experiencing true LOVE

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

No matter what LOVE may look like these days, I still believe that true, passionate, undeniable, crazy, exciting love is still possible with the right person. You can meet a person and know right away that they are meant for you, as if GOD hand picked that person just for you and nobody else. Robin and her fiancé share a strong love that genuinely shows through all that they do. Sometimes you meet a couple and you can feel the love and that is exactly what I have experienced being around this wonderful couple. I wanted to give them a chance to share their love story with others in hopes it will motivate someone to never give up on love because the person meant for you could be coming sooner then you expect. Here is their love story:
1. Tell me a little bit about yourself and your fiancé
My name is Robyn K, Harris and I’m 25 years old. I’m currently a Social Worker at Union County Department of Social Services as an investigator, CPS (Child Protective Services). My fiance’s name is Dontavius Mobley and we will be getting married on, April 15, 2017. I graduated from North Carolina A&T with my BSW. Donta graduated from Charleston Southern University with a degree in Biology. He is currently employed through Carolina Medical Center as a Histotechnologist.
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2. Where are you and your fiancé from?
I’m from Bridgeport Connecticut however was raised in Charlotte, NC. Donta was born and raised in Rock Hill, SC, where we currently reside.
3. How did you meet?
We met June 2011 at Wendy’s. We used to work together. We both have our own stories on how we met, lol. He says I stalked him and I simply disagree. Lowkey, he’s right, lol. We went on our first date July 10, 2011 and the rest is left unwritten. Stay tuned!
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4. What is special about your relationship and what makes your love story unique?
Everything about our relationship is special. It may sound cliche’ but God made me for Donta and Donta for me. We are complete opposites. I am bold, loud and outgoing while Donta is quite, calm, cool and collective; however we are the perfect balance. Donta treats me like a Queen and he notices things about me that I don’t notice about myself. He encourages me to reach my highest potential and believes in me, more than I believe in myself. I give him the confidence to be unapologetically him. I bring out the crazy, fun Donta that only a few people have seen. We compliment one another.
5. What type of role has GOD played in your relationship?
Without God, there would be no us. We are far from perfect but know without God, we are nothing. I am a big prayer and I pray about everything. Donta and I pray together as well as fellowship with one another and one of our goals is to build a stronger relationship with God as one. We found a church home that we both thoroughly enjoy and agree that God is the foundation of our relationship. Pray our strength in the Lord!
6. What are 3 key things that are important in a relationship?
Loyalty, Respect and Honesty
7. What encouraging words of advice would you give someone who feels like love is just not possible ?
God is love. Love comes naturally and shouldn’t be forced. Love yourself first and when God is ready, your happily ever after will come when it’s least expected. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is beautiful.
8. Additional comments/add-ins/things you would like to include that is not covered in the questions above?
Thanks for allowing me to share our love story : )
Robin and Donta, I wish you nothing but love and success. Congratulations on your wedding that is coming up on April 15, 2017 and remember to always keep GOD first no matter what!
Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women judge other people for the things they deal with as if we’ve never been in similar situations?

As a woman who has been in plenty of situations that I never expected to be in I always tread lightly when it comes to speaking on the things I see other people deal with. I have learned that I cannot always judge another person for what they are dealing with when I do not know their story and when I have been in the same or similar situation myself. However, seeing things like people sleeping with married men and/or trying to mess up another persons relationship on purpose is something I definitely judge BUT that is another topic for another day. Today I am simply referring to situations such as the ones we find ourselves in when it comes to our relationships.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen other women talk down about someone who continues to stay with a person that has done them wrong as if they haven’t been that woman before. People hurt people in so many ways by cheating, lying, being deceitful, mentally and physically abusive, being conniving, putting other people and things before her and the relationship, not taking her feelings into consideration, constantly running away from problems, etc. You cannot always prevent someone from hurting you so when you also have to deal with people judging you for how you deal with it makes things even worse.

I remember seeing Tammy Rivera Malphrus, who is the wife of rapper Wakaflocka, publicly dealing with her husbands infidelity in their marriage. Tammy made a decision to separate from her husband for awhile because simply put, she could not deal with the disrespect any longer; she was fed up. She did not divorce him or bash him she simply did what was best for her at the time but this did not change the fact that she was still married nor did she fully give up on her marriage. Leaving her husband had women showing her so much love and support trying to uplift and encourage her but the minute Tammy decided to work on her marriage and take her husband back things changed. I saw so many comments from women judging her, tearing her down, criticizing her, and ridiculing her as if she was wrong for working things out with her husband. Tammy married this man and vowed to stick with him through the good and the bad and a lot of women have been where she is but were quick to judge her for the decisions she made.

Ladies if you are a woman who is now in a better place in life, try not to forget where you came from and what you had to deal with and put up with to get to where you are today. Do not look down on other people because they have not reached that point in their life yet because you too use to be exactly where they are; we have to be a little more understanding. This not only applies to relationships, but also friendships, financial status, job status; you too may have struggled in these areas just like the next person. We also have to remember to not judge people when we have our own personal problems and flaws that we need to work on so the more you focus on yourself and try to uplift others the better off you will be.

Let Tay Tell It

Motivate Me Monday: Keeping it REAL

Angela Rye was born on October 26, 1979 in Seattle, Washington to Andrea Rye and Eddie Rye Jr and she is also a graduate of the University of Washington and Seattle University School of law. She is a CNN Political Commentator, an NPR Political Analyst, and the Principal and CEO of IMPACT Strategies. Angela has been featured is several publications from Ebony to the Washington Post. Angela has a long list of amazing accomplishments from NAACP Power 40 to Fortunes 40 under 40 Women to watch to DC’s most influential people.

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Angela Rye is the perfect example of keeping it real and she does it with such force and power; she does not hold back nor does she sugar coat anything. We live in a world where we are hit back to back with things that affect us more then we may realize yet people in power try to downplay it in hopes of people forgetting just how bad it is. I have not seen Angela try to downplay nor sugar coat anything and I respect her for that! She brings honesty with a heavy dose of realness to our TV screens because she is not afraid of being ignored or overlooked by other people. She proves time and time again that nothing anyone says nor does will stop her from being as real and as authentic as she can be.

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Often times in life we let what others do to us make us feel powerless and we let the words and actions of people chase us away from being our real, authentic self. Everyone in this world will not like you and they will not agree with you but that should never stop you from standing firm in what you know and believe. Let Angela Rye be the example you need to stand strong no matter what and to remain motivated when trying to achieve what you know you are meant to do in this world.

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women choose to be defensive and mean before choosing to tell someone how we really feel?

As a woman who is learning more and more about herself everyday, I can honestly say that I have had my fair share of situations that have caused me to put up a wall when it comes to letting people in. I have become use to being mean and defensive because I learned at a young age that nobody will protect me the way I can protect myself and really telling someone how I feel was not always an option. Unfortunately this stuck with me and now, at the age of 26, I am working on changing these things about myself but IT IS NOT EASY. The most important thing I have learned while working on this is that you can loose out on having some good people in your life if you choose to be defensive and mean instead of choosing to be honest about how you really feel.

I honestly believe that sometimes as women we are so passionate about protecting ourselves and our feelings that we forget how that can effect the people around us who honestly want to love us and be friends with us and care for us. Being passionate about this usually comes from being so hurt and damaged by people we expected to love and protect us. We have to stop letting people who hurt us make us mean and situations that almost broke us make us defensive because that hurt doesn’t last always and almost doesn’t count; you’re still here because what could have broke you didn’t ! My last relationship is when things really got worse for me as far as how I handled dealing with telling someone how I felt. I was in a relationship where I had to be defensive and I had to be mean because it was the only way to defend myself because trying to communicate how I really felt wasn’t taken seriously. It was not until the end of that relationship that I promised myself to change how I handled things because I knew that I could not continue doing things the same way.

Ladies you will be surprised how relieved you will feel when you properly communicate how you are feeling instead of choosing to be defensive and mean all the time. My friends help me to stick to this path that I am on with changing myself and now my current relationship is helping me stay on track as well because for the first time in a long time I am with someone who does not make me feel like I have to be defensive and mean. AGAIN, this is not an easy thing because I catch myself being defensive and mean when there is no need for that but I am with someone who understands the change I am trying to make so he is super patient with me. We have to make a conscious effort to change these thing about ourselves whether it is in our friendships or our relationships because loosing someone all because you chose to be defensive and mean instead of speaking up about how you feel the proper way is not a good feeling; trust me I have been there, done that, and had it happen to me. Do not be like me, be BETTER then me, and learn from me.

Let Tay Tell It

Motivate Me Mondays: Chasing after your destiny

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – William Jennings Bryan
I believe it is our responsibility to achieve the things our hearts desire because to live a life with regrets can cause more bad then good. We cannot let fear hold us back because the hardest part about achieving what we want is actually starting it. We can talk about it, think about it, and even dream about it but to make it become something real we must take a chance.  Todays motivational story is about a young lady who is choosing to chase after her destiny and not allowing any obstacles or set backs she may face, to stand in her way; here is her story:
Tell me about yourself
I am Robin Butler, a twenty-four year old licensed natural hair care specialist/ educator in North Carolina and the owner of Created Coily Inc. As a proud alumnus of the Illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, excellence breeds through my personal and professional brands of success. My holistic view on natural beauty and healthy hair development stems from my lifestyle, focusing on the balance of mind, body, and spirit. Our hair style is simply an expression of our inner minds. 
I’ve always loved hair every since I was a little girl. I would collect and buy so many hair magazines it wasn’t even funny. It has always been my niche; easy and fun for me to talk about. Outside of entrepreneurship and business- I enjoy learning and teaching. I’m preparing to go back to school in the next year to obtain my Juris Doctorate in Law and Masters in Business Administration. I love going to my church, spending time with family and friends, and practicing all things regarding holistic health and beauty.
What is Created Coily Inc. ?
Created Coily Inc. supports a new age of natural beauty which fosters and supports the healthy state of kinky, coily, wavy, and curly hair. Created Coily Inc. (The Experience and Style) is a organization of natural hair professionals and a thriving community of families who embrace natural hair and living. We are the home of C2 products, apparel, and a wide range of services which include Salon Services and Consulting, Educational and Lifestyle Workshops, and the CoilyCRATE subscription box; created with you in mind.
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How long have you been natural ? 
My last chemical service was done in 2013, which was 4 years ago. 
What natural hair tips do you have for all the beautiful natural hair women who are just starting their natural hair journey ?
My natural tips would be to enjoy the ride and not to rush through each stage. My hope would be for you to really take the time to learn not only your hair, but your health, and yourself. That is where the ultimate power and growth begins to transform within yourself.
What makes Created Coily unique?
Created Coily stands alone because it is not only a brand, it is also an identity to the future of Americans. Data presented by the National Geographic Center released in 2015 stated “By 2050 everyone in the United States will have curly hair and some variation of brown skin.”  Created Coily Inc is an American Curl Company, organically grown in North Carolina. We don’t just have lifeless shelf products, we have hair products that are sold in local community beauty salons which help the keep small businesses viable in our community. Our products teach our clients about their hair and are approved by the stylist treating the clients hair. Our apparel “Respect the Fro and Locs” or Black Girl Magic are worn proudly by our consumers around the country. Our quarterly subscription box meets subscribers at their door step every four months to help women stay inspired and find solutions when it comes to their hair journey. Created Coily is unique in the industry because we are natural hair care specialists creating experiences, culture, and style for each one of our customers to fit their healthy hair and lifestyle needs.
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What was the driving force behind you starting this business ?
The driving force behind me starting Created Coily Inc. was knowing that if I looked beyond myself and my own issues, I could create an identity and a platform for the future that would stand the test of time. We would solve solutions to issues and create a space to talk about it. Everyday I’m continuely reminded of this driving force because of my own hair truths, both pretty and ugly.
What set backs or obstacles, if any, have you had to overcome?
In the last two years with Created Coily, there has been a million set backs but I think that is just the nature of the business. It wasn’t one set back that wasn’t worth the experience I gained. I think one of the biggest set backs I had to overcome was having to learn and fill every role of my business until  I get to place I can hire and employ others. I am the web developer, graphic designer, financial analyst, photographer, videographer, IT, supply chain and logistics, stylist/chemist and manufacturer, production manager, public relations, shipping/delivery and legal analyst. You have to not only learn these roles but perform them professionally everyday. My degree was completed in General Economics, so for me this was a learning curve. I fell in love with my brand and that’s the only way I’m overcoming it. 
How would you define success ?
Success is your ability to stay the course and not give up on the very thing that can change the trajectory of your life.
What keeps you motivated ? 
Being able to chase after my destiny and full potential everyday. I love being able to wake every morning and look forward to going to my work space and being able to create what I see in my head then make it into a career; that keeps me motivated. 
What are 3 tips you would say are vital to the success of a business ?
Three tips vital for a successful business in my opinion would be:
1. solid marketing
2. authenticity/creditability within your industry
3. passion/love that is undeniable
Where can people go to learn more about created coily and purchase one of your products?
To learn more about Created Coily Inc. you can visit our websites at www.createdcoily.org to learn more and createdcoily.com to Shop. Be sure to follow us on IG and Twitter @createdcoilyinc. You can also follow my personal and professional journey on Youtube at Naturally Rob.
Let Tay Tell It