Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women try to change a man that is simply not ready to change?

It is in a womans nature to want to change a man because often times we see his potential way before he even sees it. But when are we going to start realizing that the time we spend trying to change him is time wasted?  There are plenty of men in this world who have reached their potential and made changes to become better men, so why not give these men a chance? The answer is simple, love. Love makes you do things you would never expect yourself to do including waiting around for a man to change and see his potential. It is okay to be the woman who helps her man be a better man but that man has to be at a place in life where he’s ready to reach his potential or he’s already reached it and is continuing to do what is necessary to be the best man he can possibly be.

In life you have to be able to know what type of man you are dealing with; a man who has changed and reached his potential, a man who is trying to change and taking steps to reach his potential, a man who can’t see his potential yet so he has no plans to change right away, and a man who will never really fully change. If you think about how hard it is to change things about yourself then it will start to become a little easier to accept the fact that you cannot force someone else to change. Things that do not become easier is a relationship coming to an end after you have gave a man all of your love, time, and support because you whole heartedly believed you could change him.

You cannot change a man that does not want to change and a man will not tap into his potential until he’s ready to do so. It took me awhile to learn this and unfortunately all of my past relationships involved me focusing more on the potential instead of the actual relationship. The potential clouds your judgement and after while you start to ignore the things about yourself that need to change because that mans potential becomes your main focus. This is why it is important to take everything you do to GOD in prayer; we must ask GOD to provide us with clarity. The heart wants what the heart wants but sometimes that’s not what is best for us. Sometimes you have to walk away and if that does not motivate the man you love to change and become a better man for you then take it for what it is. Deal with the hurt by allowing GOD to heal your heart, remember the things the relationship taught you, and work on being a better woman.

At the end of the day, the goal is to be able to grow together and make each other better but how can you do that if you’re focused on trying to change a man?

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women take the “but he is a good guy” stance when trying to convince ourselves to not give up on a relationship we should have walked away from months ago?

Relationships are hard work but, often times we already know when a relationship is no longer good for us but, lets face it, who wants to be alone? Being alone is something a lot of us fear. But, in all honesty, it is better to be alone than to stay in a relationship that no longer contributes to your happiness, prevents you from growing and where the bad out weighs the good.

In 2015, while dealing with being laid off from my job, I was also dealing with heartbreak from my relationship not working out. I was truly devastated to have to let go of something and someone I was not prepared to let go of. GOD presented me with a lot of signs and I ignored them all but, eventually, he wore me out. After awhile I became so tired of getting hurt and forcing myself to ignore the signs because he was a “good guy” that I stopped fighting what he had been trying to tell me. The relationship ended and I realized that just because he was a good guy doesn’t mean I was supposed to stay in that relationship for as long as I did. I am truly grateful for the relationship because I learned a lot; I know what I will and will not accept from a man, I know how I want to be treated, I know what I need to change and work on to be a better woman for the next man, and I know how important it is to make sure GOD is fully present in the relationship. I do not regret the relationship at all because the woman I am today and the growth I have experienced would not have happened had I stayed, but it took A LOT of courage to walk away.

We never know what GOD’S plan is when it comes to relationships. GOD could be preparing you both to be together later but to experience some growth separately first, or he could be pulling you away in order to have you experience the growth that is  for the relationship with the next man. The one thing you have to do is listen when he’s trying to tell you something. Sometimes that means walking away from something or someone that is currently not providing you with the things you need to grow. GOD has a funny way of trying to reel you back in once he sees that you are pulling away from Him. He will allow things to happen so that you get to a point where you have no choice but to turn to him. We have to stop allowing the “but he’s a good guy” thing to keep us in relationships that are only meant to last for a certain length of time. The more we ignore the signs the worse the signs will get. We can avoid so many tears and so much unecessary pain if we simply listen and pay attention to what GOD is trying to tell us. The more you hold on the longer it will take for the right guy to show up.

GOD wants to see you happy and in love with the man he has for you but you must trust him, be diligent and be patient. You must be willing to completely let go of the expectations you have and welcome in what GOD has in store for your life. You must understand that some relationships are not meant to last forever. Be sure to reflect on what it has taught you and what mistakes you can learn from it. GOD has a way of protecting you from what was not sent by him. So when GOD tells you it is time to move on, do so willingly.

Ultimately, the goal is to be ready to receive love from a good man sent by GOD, right?

Let Tay Tell It