Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women assume that all men are the same? How many times have you heard a woman say “all men are the same”?

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard women say “all men are the same”, which is ultimately us blaming all men for the actions of one man. It is my personal belief that women usually deal with heartbreak a lot better then men do BUT one of our flaws is putting all men into this negative category because we’ve been hurt. I too use to be guilty of this; after I experienced heartbreak for the first time I allowed it to completely change the way I view men. In my eyes all men were the same and no matter how good they seemed to be, I knew at some point they would prove to be just like the last guy; at that point I wasn’t even giving them a chance to show me better.

When you experience heartbreak for the first time it causes you to want to put your guard up and figure out ways to prevent it from ever happening again. One way we as women go about doing this is going into a situation with the next guy expecting him to either do what the last guy did or do something even worse. This is something we have to learn to STOP DOING! It is not easy but it is important and necessary to do because the more you treat every guy as if he is the same, is the more time it will take for the right man to come into your life. The first step we must take is to realize and accept the fact that heartbreak is something that is unavoidable.

Another thing that we have to do, to move to a place where we stop categorizing men as all being the same, is to take a step back and realize the type of men we go for and the type of men we allow to step into our lives. Pay attention to the type of men you attract and don’t attract, the type of men you give chances too and the ones you don’t! I would meet a guy and the same things I would allow, ignore, and overlook with the last guy, I would turn around and do the same thing with the next guy because I was either getting too caught up in how much I really liked him or thinking I could get him to eventually become serious. When I started to realize this, it started to click that its not that all guys are the same, its the fact that I keep giving the time of day to guys who weren’t on the same page as me as far as where we wanted things to go between us.

At the end of the day, we have to make a conscious effort to not categorize men as being the same. Ladies, in order to get the results you want you have to accept that heartbreak is something we can’t prevent, stop assuming all men are the same, and  focus more on paying attention to the type of men you allow to step into your life.

Let Tay Tell It

 

Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women allow the words from others to affect our self esteem? Why do we as women start to question our worth and our abilities because of what someone else said about us? When will we start to realize that the things other people say do not define who we are as a woman?

This is something we as women go through too often. It is important, as a woman, to really take the time to know who you truly are. This requires some alone time and some growing pains; so it is necessary to embrace this. If you know who you are as a woman, then the words from another person should not have you doubting yourself.

Growing up, I use to get talked about all the time and I could not understand why. I was allowing the words from other people to alter my self esteem and for awhile I was very insecure. As time progressed I started becoming a woman and learning more about myself and realized that I am not what people say I am. I reached a point in life where I learned what changes I needed to make as a woman so that I could continue to be the best version of me. I worked on gaining confidence, building my self esteem, and letting go of all the insecurities that I allowed to hold me back. I have gone through a lot of personal growth and because of this there is nothing anyone can say that can strip me of the confidence I have.

Women, let me tell you, that making changes is not an easy task to achieve. It will require you to not only build your confidence but to accept the change that is needed. Do not depend on others to build that confidence you need, it is on you and do not change for others, change for yourself! Make changes because you want to continue on the path of becoming a better you. The more you change because of other people and what they say about you, the further you are from being happy. It is also important that we allow GOD to help us through these changes because they will require a certain level of patience. Once you make the right changes, it will give you what you need to stand strong in who you are as a person no matter what other people say about you.

The goal is to be better then you were yesterday right? At the end of the day we want to be happy with the type of woman we are right?

 

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women try to change a man that is simply not ready to change?

It is in a womans nature to want to change a man because often times we see his potential way before he even sees it. But when are we going to start realizing that the time we spend trying to change him is time wasted?  There are plenty of men in this world who have reached their potential and made changes to become better men, so why not give these men a chance? The answer is simple, love. Love makes you do things you would never expect yourself to do including waiting around for a man to change and see his potential. It is okay to be the woman who helps her man be a better man but that man has to be at a place in life where he’s ready to reach his potential or he’s already reached it and is continuing to do what is necessary to be the best man he can possibly be.

In life you have to be able to know what type of man you are dealing with; a man who has changed and reached his potential, a man who is trying to change and taking steps to reach his potential, a man who can’t see his potential yet so he has no plans to change right away, and a man who will never really fully change. If you think about how hard it is to change things about yourself then it will start to become a little easier to accept the fact that you cannot force someone else to change. Things that do not become easier is a relationship coming to an end after you have gave a man all of your love, time, and support because you whole heartedly believed you could change him.

You cannot change a man that does not want to change and a man will not tap into his potential until he’s ready to do so. It took me awhile to learn this and unfortunately all of my past relationships involved me focusing more on the potential instead of the actual relationship. The potential clouds your judgement and after while you start to ignore the things about yourself that need to change because that mans potential becomes your main focus. This is why it is important to take everything you do to GOD in prayer; we must ask GOD to provide us with clarity. The heart wants what the heart wants but sometimes that’s not what is best for us. Sometimes you have to walk away and if that does not motivate the man you love to change and become a better man for you then take it for what it is. Deal with the hurt by allowing GOD to heal your heart, remember the things the relationship taught you, and work on being a better woman.

At the end of the day, the goal is to be able to grow together and make each other better but how can you do that if you’re focused on trying to change a man?

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women take the “but he is a good guy” stance when trying to convince ourselves to not give up on a relationship we should have walked away from months ago?

Relationships are hard work but, often times we already know when a relationship is no longer good for us but, lets face it, who wants to be alone? Being alone is something a lot of us fear. But, in all honesty, it is better to be alone than to stay in a relationship that no longer contributes to your happiness, prevents you from growing and where the bad out weighs the good.

In 2015, while dealing with being laid off from my job, I was also dealing with heartbreak from my relationship not working out. I was truly devastated to have to let go of something and someone I was not prepared to let go of. GOD presented me with a lot of signs and I ignored them all but, eventually, he wore me out. After awhile I became so tired of getting hurt and forcing myself to ignore the signs because he was a “good guy” that I stopped fighting what he had been trying to tell me. The relationship ended and I realized that just because he was a good guy doesn’t mean I was supposed to stay in that relationship for as long as I did. I am truly grateful for the relationship because I learned a lot; I know what I will and will not accept from a man, I know how I want to be treated, I know what I need to change and work on to be a better woman for the next man, and I know how important it is to make sure GOD is fully present in the relationship. I do not regret the relationship at all because the woman I am today and the growth I have experienced would not have happened had I stayed, but it took A LOT of courage to walk away.

We never know what GOD’S plan is when it comes to relationships. GOD could be preparing you both to be together later but to experience some growth separately first, or he could be pulling you away in order to have you experience the growth that is  for the relationship with the next man. The one thing you have to do is listen when he’s trying to tell you something. Sometimes that means walking away from something or someone that is currently not providing you with the things you need to grow. GOD has a funny way of trying to reel you back in once he sees that you are pulling away from Him. He will allow things to happen so that you get to a point where you have no choice but to turn to him. We have to stop allowing the “but he’s a good guy” thing to keep us in relationships that are only meant to last for a certain length of time. The more we ignore the signs the worse the signs will get. We can avoid so many tears and so much unecessary pain if we simply listen and pay attention to what GOD is trying to tell us. The more you hold on the longer it will take for the right guy to show up.

GOD wants to see you happy and in love with the man he has for you but you must trust him, be diligent and be patient. You must be willing to completely let go of the expectations you have and welcome in what GOD has in store for your life. You must understand that some relationships are not meant to last forever. Be sure to reflect on what it has taught you and what mistakes you can learn from it. GOD has a way of protecting you from what was not sent by him. So when GOD tells you it is time to move on, do so willingly.

Ultimately, the goal is to be ready to receive love from a good man sent by GOD, right?

Let Tay Tell It