Why do we as women take the “but he is a good guy” stance when trying to convince ourselves to not give up on a relationship we should have walked away from months ago?
Relationships are hard work but, often times we already know when a relationship is no longer good for us but, lets face it, who wants to be alone? Being alone is something a lot of us fear. But, in all honesty, it is better to be alone than to stay in a relationship that no longer contributes to your happiness, prevents you from growing and where the bad out weighs the good.
In 2015, while dealing with being laid off from my job, I was also dealing with heartbreak from my relationship not working out. I was truly devastated to have to let go of something and someone I was not prepared to let go of. GOD presented me with a lot of signs and I ignored them all but, eventually, he wore me out. After awhile I became so tired of getting hurt and forcing myself to ignore the signs because he was a “good guy” that I stopped fighting what he had been trying to tell me. The relationship ended and I realized that just because he was a good guy doesn’t mean I was supposed to stay in that relationship for as long as I did. I am truly grateful for the relationship because I learned a lot; I know what I will and will not accept from a man, I know how I want to be treated, I know what I need to change and work on to be a better woman for the next man, and I know how important it is to make sure GOD is fully present in the relationship. I do not regret the relationship at all because the woman I am today and the growth I have experienced would not have happened had I stayed, but it took A LOT of courage to walk away.
We never know what GOD’S plan is when it comes to relationships. GOD could be preparing you both to be together later but to experience some growth separately first, or he could be pulling you away in order to have you experience the growth that is for the relationship with the next man. The one thing you have to do is listen when he’s trying to tell you something. Sometimes that means walking away from something or someone that is currently not providing you with the things you need to grow. GOD has a funny way of trying to reel you back in once he sees that you are pulling away from Him. He will allow things to happen so that you get to a point where you have no choice but to turn to him. We have to stop allowing the “but he’s a good guy” thing to keep us in relationships that are only meant to last for a certain length of time. The more we ignore the signs the worse the signs will get. We can avoid so many tears and so much unecessary pain if we simply listen and pay attention to what GOD is trying to tell us. The more you hold on the longer it will take for the right guy to show up.
GOD wants to see you happy and in love with the man he has for you but you must trust him, be diligent and be patient. You must be willing to completely let go of the expectations you have and welcome in what GOD has in store for your life. You must understand that some relationships are not meant to last forever. Be sure to reflect on what it has taught you and what mistakes you can learn from it. GOD has a way of protecting you from what was not sent by him. So when GOD tells you it is time to move on, do so willingly.
Ultimately, the goal is to be ready to receive love from a good man sent by GOD, right?
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