Motivate Me Monday: What is your passion?

“A passionate belief in your business and personal objectives can make all the difference between success and failure. If you aren’t proud of what you’re doing, why should anybody else be?” – Richard Branson

It is important to always be aware of what your passionate about in life because it is easier to achieve what you love then it is to achieve something you do not love. Everyone has the ability to do what they want in life as long as they keep the faith and never allow anyone or anything to get in their way. As a woman, stepping into a world that is highly male dominated world has many challenges in itself. The music world is very very competitive and certain paths such as rapping and DJ’ing are very male dominated, so as a female there are already two things you are up against from the very start. Female DJs are not rare but they are competing in a competitive and highly male dominated world which is never an easy thing to do. DJ KDOT knows and relates to this very well because she has been DJ’ing for over 5 years. She was willing to share with others about her journey in the music world as a DJ, here is her story:

1. Who is Khadijah Thomas? Tell me a little bit about yourself
My name is Khadijah Thomas but I go by KDOT  I am 22 years old soon to be 23.  I have a B.S. in Management Information Systems from the Illustrious North Carolina A & T State University. I am also a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. initiated into the Amazing Alpha Mu Chapter and I am currently a technical specialist for Apple but most importantly I am an Entrepreneur. I am originally from Buffalo, New York. I consider Rosedale, Queens (NYC) home as that is where my family settled when they came from Trinidad.

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2. How long have you been a DJ and what is the reason behind wanting to become a DJ?

I have been a DJ for 11 years; I started learning at 12 right before I turned 13 and it’s something that runs in my family. I was the first girl grandchild and happened to be the first girl in my family interested in DJ’ing. My Dad and uncle were my biggest influences as they have been doing it for years.

3. How was the name DJ KDOT created? 

Well my step sister gave me the nickname KDOT back in 8th grade and for whatever reason it just seemed to stick with me and everyone. It was only natural  that it became my DJ name once I actually started to branch out underneath my family.

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4. What obstacles have you faced and/or still face as a female DJ?

As a Female DJ there are a few obstacles I face with it being such a male dominated industry. Small things like when I am going to set up for events and have a gentleman helping me carry equipment a lot of people will assume the  guy is the DJ and not me. I even get questions like “so do you really DJ or is this something you do for fun?” There is a stereotype behind female DJs not having skills and that’s one thing I focus on the most; the art and skill of DJ’ing. Outside of that one of my least favorite thing to deal with is the egos of other male DJs, especially when working together. Overall I think as a person I vibe with people naturally and stay focused on myself so I have never had a traumatic experience but it does happen occasionally.

 
5. What keeps you motivated?

Ultimately my love for music and a good time is what keeps me motivated. Also my desire to be my own boss as well. There is so much freedom within being a DJ that is   indescribable. Singing and dancing was something I did early in my life until I fell in   love with DJ’ing so the music has always been a big part of my life.

6. Who are 3 of your favorite DJs that inspire you? 

DJ Spinderella – We can’t talk about female DJs without thinking about her. She was one of the first female DJs I knew of.

DJ Kid Capri – His energy is unmatched and he puts passion behind what he   does. True entertainer

DJ MC – I met him through my network at NCAT and he was one of the first seasoned DJs to really take an interest in my craft and actually want to help me.   Most importantly he is HUMBLE.

 
7. What advice do you have for female DJs who are just starting out?

The best advice I could give is to learn who you are as a DJ because you will not be like anyone else. Find your style and also be open to work on other styles as well. If you take your craft seriously people will take you seriously.

8. Where do you see yourself in the next 2 to 3 years?

In the next 2 to 3 years I see myself traveling a lot more to DJ. Between my background and musical preferences I would like to think I am very versatile and  would love to be a traveling DJ.

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9. How were you able to make a name for yourself? Are you available to be booked for events? If so what type of events? 

Networking was the biggest thing as far as making a name for myself and ultimately my performance. I am available to be booked for a variety of events including: Weddings, Baby Showers, Birthday Parties, School events, Fashion Shows, Clubs, Mixing needs etc.

10. How would you define success?

I would define success as the point in which I have accomplished my set goals   and even though I will continue to strive for more I am content with all that I have. On a smaller scale, getting request for my business cards or compliments after my performance makes me feel successful.

11. Are there any upcoming projects and/or events you would like to mention?

I am DJ’ing a Cultural Day Party on May 6th 2017 @ Greene St Nightclub.  Outside of that I have a few private events this summer that I am excited about!

12. What are the top 3 things you have accomplished as a DJ that you are proud of?

1) DJ’ing in another country

2) DJ’ing a gym jam at NCAT that was packed with 1200+ people

3) Having one of my mix challenges go viral. My Love Come Down challenge on   soundcloud currently has 29,000 views and rising!

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13. Where can people go to learn more about you and your more of your music?

My website is http://www.theedjkdot.com. On my website I update my most recent soundcloud mixes and events. All of my social media handles are @XOXODJKDOT

If you want to book me, please email me at management@theedjkdot.com

 

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Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women try to put a title on something before even talking to the guy we are dealing with?

Ladies, whether we do it on purpose or not, we often end up in situations that we know we could have avoided if we handled things differently. I truly believe that some of the problems we encounter and the hurt with deal with, when it comes to men, could be avoided if we asked a guy what his intentions are in the beginning. You have to go into these situations with guys knowing what you want and expect and making those things very clear. Either a guy is going to respect it and be on the same page with you or he is not and one thing is for sure, YOU CANNOT PUT A TITLE ON A SITUATION IF YOU ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE WITH THE GUY YOU ARE DEALING WITH.

Sometimes we get involved with guys and determine how things will be before realizing that the guy isn’t even on the same page as us. We start to care more, do more, and expect more from a man that does not care. Don’t get me wrong, guys lead us on a lot of the time but SOMETIMES we as women also play a major part in things falling apart as well. Sleeping with a guy and “talking” to a guy DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU TWO ARE EXCLUSIVE; how can you automatically assume something when no conversation has happened about where things are and where they are going. You also have to know the type of woman  you are when it comes to men because it will help you to avoid a lot of the hurt you may deal with.

I understand wanting more from these men then they are ready to give us but recognize the part you may be playing in the situation that has done you more bad then good. Once you realize it remember it and carry that with you into the next situation so you won’t make the same mistake again. Now, this is not me saying that you will deal with this when it comes to all men, this is me saying that the way things went in the last situation you dealt with should tell you that something needs to change moving forward. If you have certain expectations you are no longer willing to budge on, make that clear. If sex before a relationship is something you cannot handle, make that clear. If you are at a point where playing around and dating different men isn’t you’re thing any more, make it clear.

As a woman you have every right to make it clear what you want and expect NO MATTER WHAT but what you SHOULD NOT do is put a title on situations before even talking to the guy you’re dealing with; you are guaranteed to get your feelings hurt. If you can avoid getting your feelings hurt or ending up in situations that aren’t good for you, DO IT.

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Motivate Me Monday: Staying true to who you are

Raynell Steward aka Supa was born in New Orleans, LA. Supa is a very well known social media icon. If you know about her then I’m sure you have seen her funny videos and the various ways she helps other people. I remember the first time I came across her from seeing one of her funny videos and I automatically became a fan. As time progressed and I continued to keep up with her post I started to notice that she was more then just some videos. Supa is real, genuine, passionate, an amazing mother, friend, sister, cousin, daughter who is using her platform to not only make us laugh but help us advance in life! She allows the world to get a glimpse of her life and that isn’t always easy.

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Photo Credit: @supa_cent

As long as I have been following Supa, she has ALWAYS stayed true to herself and who she is. She has allowed the world to watch here grow as a woman and the growth is undeniable. People who are in the public eye are always judged and talked about by people who have nothing better to do with their time and it is sad. It is amazing being able to watch how Supa deals with people who question her or are out to challenge the type of person she is, the type of mother she is, and how she handles situations.

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Photo Credit: @supa_cent

 

Not only does Supa allow you to see her being a mother and a friend but she ALSO allows you to see things about her love life, she gives advice, and she shares things through the promotions she does. Often times we see a lot of people on social media who are heavily in the public eye doing things that aren’t always positive or putting on a front instead of being their true self. The reason why I am such a fan of Supa is because of how authentic she is and always has been. She never turned away from being who she is and she doesn’t apologize for it either. She has created an entire brand for herself and her following has increased tremendously but that does not stop her from giving advice, taking care of her family, and always showing love to those who truly support her.

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Photo Credit: @supa_cent

If you can learn ANYTHING from Supa it is how to stay true to who you are no matter what! Often times in life we allow things in our life to stop us from being who we really are. We allow what others say about us change us and its not a change for the good either. We have to stop doing this because there is no one in the world like you and to get the respect you deserve often time requires you to stay true to who you are. DO NOT let anyone or any situation stop you from being you; you’re true genuine authentic self.

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Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women say things we do not mean in relationships?

Ladies, just try to hear me out on this one, okay? It has become a natural and pretty much normal thing to hear guys talk about what a female really means when she says certain things. For example as a female when my man asks me “What is wrong with you” I will typically say “nothing, I’m fine” but my man knows deep down that if he just says okay and does not ask me again or try to get me to talk, it becomes a problem. How about when you are having an argument and you say to your man “leave me alone” but in reality we do not literally mean for you to leave us alone. These are just a few examples of us women saying things we don’t really mean; it is almost as if we want to test our man to see how far he would go to make sure we are okay. This is good and all, SOMETIMES, but then you have other situations where you say mean things to a guy because you’re hurt or because you’re dealing with a good guy and you don’t know how to handle it.

You play a tricky game when you say things you do not mean, you have to be careful. If your man is asking you what is wrong, tell him; he’s asking because he cares so don’t make him beg you every time. If you are in a situation and you want to tell your man to leave you alone just to see what he will do, don’t get mad if he actually leaves you alone; guys take things literally so most of the time they will not automatically think that you telling them to leave you alone, doesn’t actually mean that. With that being said, there are some times where I am all for making your man work hard to figure out what is going on especially if he is the cause of problem and knows what he did wrong; sometimes guys will “act” as if they do not know but they do.

We also have to be careful saying mean things in the heat of an argument. Ladies it should come to no surprise that our words can cut a man deep especially if it comes from a woman he truly loves; he may not show it how effected him like we as women do but it definitely does. An argument and/or disagreement should not the time where we try to hurt each other because nothing gets accomplished and feelings get hurt off of things being said that a person probably didn’t even mean. You do not want to loose someone you love from saying something that you didn’t even mean. I have seen women use their words to try to tear down a good man because lets be honest; dealing with good guys these days seems rare. If all you have ever known are lying, cheating, dishonest men why wouldn’t you expect a good to be putting on a front? Why wouldn’t you start to doubt the situation after while? Why wouldn’t you start to question things? I understand but to tear down a good guy by saying things that aren’t true can cause more harm then good so don’t push that good man away, embrace him.

From testing your man to tearing down a good guy plus any and everything that falls in between that, all results in saying things we do not mean. Things should flow pretty easily in a relationship so do not make it a permanent habit of saying things you do not mean or you may cause more problems then necessary. Also, always remember that your words hold more power then you may know.

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Motivate Me Mondays: Experiencing true LOVE

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

No matter what LOVE may look like these days, I still believe that true, passionate, undeniable, crazy, exciting love is still possible with the right person. You can meet a person and know right away that they are meant for you, as if GOD hand picked that person just for you and nobody else. Robin and her fiancé share a strong love that genuinely shows through all that they do. Sometimes you meet a couple and you can feel the love and that is exactly what I have experienced being around this wonderful couple. I wanted to give them a chance to share their love story with others in hopes it will motivate someone to never give up on love because the person meant for you could be coming sooner then you expect. Here is their love story:
1. Tell me a little bit about yourself and your fiancé
My name is Robyn K, Harris and I’m 25 years old. I’m currently a Social Worker at Union County Department of Social Services as an investigator, CPS (Child Protective Services). My fiance’s name is Dontavius Mobley and we will be getting married on, April 15, 2017. I graduated from North Carolina A&T with my BSW. Donta graduated from Charleston Southern University with a degree in Biology. He is currently employed through Carolina Medical Center as a Histotechnologist.
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2. Where are you and your fiancé from?
I’m from Bridgeport Connecticut however was raised in Charlotte, NC. Donta was born and raised in Rock Hill, SC, where we currently reside.
3. How did you meet?
We met June 2011 at Wendy’s. We used to work together. We both have our own stories on how we met, lol. He says I stalked him and I simply disagree. Lowkey, he’s right, lol. We went on our first date July 10, 2011 and the rest is left unwritten. Stay tuned!
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4. What is special about your relationship and what makes your love story unique?
Everything about our relationship is special. It may sound cliche’ but God made me for Donta and Donta for me. We are complete opposites. I am bold, loud and outgoing while Donta is quite, calm, cool and collective; however we are the perfect balance. Donta treats me like a Queen and he notices things about me that I don’t notice about myself. He encourages me to reach my highest potential and believes in me, more than I believe in myself. I give him the confidence to be unapologetically him. I bring out the crazy, fun Donta that only a few people have seen. We compliment one another.
5. What type of role has GOD played in your relationship?
Without God, there would be no us. We are far from perfect but know without God, we are nothing. I am a big prayer and I pray about everything. Donta and I pray together as well as fellowship with one another and one of our goals is to build a stronger relationship with God as one. We found a church home that we both thoroughly enjoy and agree that God is the foundation of our relationship. Pray our strength in the Lord!
6. What are 3 key things that are important in a relationship?
Loyalty, Respect and Honesty
7. What encouraging words of advice would you give someone who feels like love is just not possible ?
God is love. Love comes naturally and shouldn’t be forced. Love yourself first and when God is ready, your happily ever after will come when it’s least expected. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is beautiful.
8. Additional comments/add-ins/things you would like to include that is not covered in the questions above?
Thanks for allowing me to share our love story : )
Robin and Donta, I wish you nothing but love and success. Congratulations on your wedding that is coming up on April 15, 2017 and remember to always keep GOD first no matter what!
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Why Do We As Women?

Why do we as women judge other people for the things they deal with as if we’ve never been in similar situations?

As a woman who has been in plenty of situations that I never expected to be in I always tread lightly when it comes to speaking on the things I see other people deal with. I have learned that I cannot always judge another person for what they are dealing with when I do not know their story and when I have been in the same or similar situation myself. However, seeing things like people sleeping with married men and/or trying to mess up another persons relationship on purpose is something I definitely judge BUT that is another topic for another day. Today I am simply referring to situations such as the ones we find ourselves in when it comes to our relationships.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen other women talk down about someone who continues to stay with a person that has done them wrong as if they haven’t been that woman before. People hurt people in so many ways by cheating, lying, being deceitful, mentally and physically abusive, being conniving, putting other people and things before her and the relationship, not taking her feelings into consideration, constantly running away from problems, etc. You cannot always prevent someone from hurting you so when you also have to deal with people judging you for how you deal with it makes things even worse.

I remember seeing Tammy Rivera Malphrus, who is the wife of rapper Wakaflocka, publicly dealing with her husbands infidelity in their marriage. Tammy made a decision to separate from her husband for awhile because simply put, she could not deal with the disrespect any longer; she was fed up. She did not divorce him or bash him she simply did what was best for her at the time but this did not change the fact that she was still married nor did she fully give up on her marriage. Leaving her husband had women showing her so much love and support trying to uplift and encourage her but the minute Tammy decided to work on her marriage and take her husband back things changed. I saw so many comments from women judging her, tearing her down, criticizing her, and ridiculing her as if she was wrong for working things out with her husband. Tammy married this man and vowed to stick with him through the good and the bad and a lot of women have been where she is but were quick to judge her for the decisions she made.

Ladies if you are a woman who is now in a better place in life, try not to forget where you came from and what you had to deal with and put up with to get to where you are today. Do not look down on other people because they have not reached that point in their life yet because you too use to be exactly where they are; we have to be a little more understanding. This not only applies to relationships, but also friendships, financial status, job status; you too may have struggled in these areas just like the next person. We also have to remember to not judge people when we have our own personal problems and flaws that we need to work on so the more you focus on yourself and try to uplift others the better off you will be.

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Motivate Me Mondays: Chasing after your destiny

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – William Jennings Bryan
I believe it is our responsibility to achieve the things our hearts desire because to live a life with regrets can cause more bad then good. We cannot let fear hold us back because the hardest part about achieving what we want is actually starting it. We can talk about it, think about it, and even dream about it but to make it become something real we must take a chance.  Todays motivational story is about a young lady who is choosing to chase after her destiny and not allowing any obstacles or set backs she may face, to stand in her way; here is her story:
Tell me about yourself
I am Robin Butler, a twenty-four year old licensed natural hair care specialist/ educator in North Carolina and the owner of Created Coily Inc. As a proud alumnus of the Illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, excellence breeds through my personal and professional brands of success. My holistic view on natural beauty and healthy hair development stems from my lifestyle, focusing on the balance of mind, body, and spirit. Our hair style is simply an expression of our inner minds. 
I’ve always loved hair every since I was a little girl. I would collect and buy so many hair magazines it wasn’t even funny. It has always been my niche; easy and fun for me to talk about. Outside of entrepreneurship and business- I enjoy learning and teaching. I’m preparing to go back to school in the next year to obtain my Juris Doctorate in Law and Masters in Business Administration. I love going to my church, spending time with family and friends, and practicing all things regarding holistic health and beauty.
What is Created Coily Inc. ?
Created Coily Inc. supports a new age of natural beauty which fosters and supports the healthy state of kinky, coily, wavy, and curly hair. Created Coily Inc. (The Experience and Style) is a organization of natural hair professionals and a thriving community of families who embrace natural hair and living. We are the home of C2 products, apparel, and a wide range of services which include Salon Services and Consulting, Educational and Lifestyle Workshops, and the CoilyCRATE subscription box; created with you in mind.
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How long have you been natural ? 
My last chemical service was done in 2013, which was 4 years ago. 
What natural hair tips do you have for all the beautiful natural hair women who are just starting their natural hair journey ?
My natural tips would be to enjoy the ride and not to rush through each stage. My hope would be for you to really take the time to learn not only your hair, but your health, and yourself. That is where the ultimate power and growth begins to transform within yourself.
What makes Created Coily unique?
Created Coily stands alone because it is not only a brand, it is also an identity to the future of Americans. Data presented by the National Geographic Center released in 2015 stated “By 2050 everyone in the United States will have curly hair and some variation of brown skin.”  Created Coily Inc is an American Curl Company, organically grown in North Carolina. We don’t just have lifeless shelf products, we have hair products that are sold in local community beauty salons which help the keep small businesses viable in our community. Our products teach our clients about their hair and are approved by the stylist treating the clients hair. Our apparel “Respect the Fro and Locs” or Black Girl Magic are worn proudly by our consumers around the country. Our quarterly subscription box meets subscribers at their door step every four months to help women stay inspired and find solutions when it comes to their hair journey. Created Coily is unique in the industry because we are natural hair care specialists creating experiences, culture, and style for each one of our customers to fit their healthy hair and lifestyle needs.
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What was the driving force behind you starting this business ?
The driving force behind me starting Created Coily Inc. was knowing that if I looked beyond myself and my own issues, I could create an identity and a platform for the future that would stand the test of time. We would solve solutions to issues and create a space to talk about it. Everyday I’m continuely reminded of this driving force because of my own hair truths, both pretty and ugly.
What set backs or obstacles, if any, have you had to overcome?
In the last two years with Created Coily, there has been a million set backs but I think that is just the nature of the business. It wasn’t one set back that wasn’t worth the experience I gained. I think one of the biggest set backs I had to overcome was having to learn and fill every role of my business until  I get to place I can hire and employ others. I am the web developer, graphic designer, financial analyst, photographer, videographer, IT, supply chain and logistics, stylist/chemist and manufacturer, production manager, public relations, shipping/delivery and legal analyst. You have to not only learn these roles but perform them professionally everyday. My degree was completed in General Economics, so for me this was a learning curve. I fell in love with my brand and that’s the only way I’m overcoming it. 
How would you define success ?
Success is your ability to stay the course and not give up on the very thing that can change the trajectory of your life.
What keeps you motivated ? 
Being able to chase after my destiny and full potential everyday. I love being able to wake every morning and look forward to going to my work space and being able to create what I see in my head then make it into a career; that keeps me motivated. 
What are 3 tips you would say are vital to the success of a business ?
Three tips vital for a successful business in my opinion would be:
1. solid marketing
2. authenticity/creditability within your industry
3. passion/love that is undeniable
Where can people go to learn more about created coily and purchase one of your products?
To learn more about Created Coily Inc. you can visit our websites at www.createdcoily.org to learn more and createdcoily.com to Shop. Be sure to follow us on IG and Twitter @createdcoilyinc. You can also follow my personal and professional journey on Youtube at Naturally Rob.
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