Why do we as women ignore all of the things we keep allowing, when these men end up hurting us?
Ladies how many times have you been told “that man only does what you ALLOW him to do”. Probably too many times to count right? I know that would be and is my answer. I have people from friends to family tell me this all the time yet I would still continue dealing with things I had no business allowing to even occur.
Please understand that I am in no way saying that these men are right for what they do to us and put us through but eventually you have to ask yourself why it continues to happen. It seems so simple especially when all you ask is for these men to do is be faithful, loyal, loving, respectful, and 100% committed. We do not get into these relationships expecting to be treated in ways no woman should be treated but it is life; its these situations that make us the women we are today. However, at some point you have to step back and look at the situation to see the part you are playing; realize the things you have been allowing.
These are times where we have to keep a constant reminder of what people have been telling us since guys were even a thought because we are so quick to blame the guy but after the 3rd, 4th, and 5th time of the same thing happening we need to start asking ourselves what are we allowing to take place that makes these men feel like they can continue doing what they are doing. Why do these men continue to hurt us is a questions that sometimes we already have the answer to and don’t even realize it.
The start of 2017 for me was the beginning of finally letting go of a situation I had been dealing with for longer then I should have. For me, cutting someone off and letting go involves taking a extreme measures from blocking on all social media to blocking phone numbers and emails to loosing all contacts with friends and family until I have reached a place of peace. This situation I was in was filled with ups and downs, tears, low self esteem, and a lot of things being allowed on my be half when I knew that I was better then that. There is no better feeling then cutting off a man you’ve allowed to have too much control over things like your feelings, emotions, and decision making. As women we try to become the type of women we say we would never be like but often times we become those women and that is because love makes you do crazy things.
So to all my ladies reading this, we have to move forward by making a conscious effort to not allow things that we shouldn’t even have to deal with in the first place. Stop allowing things from a man who would never allow it if the tables were turned, do not allow these men to have total control over your emotions; take that power back and continue working on becoming the right woman for the right man!
I would suggest reading this book which was recommended by a good friend. It is called Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa TerKeurst. This book is a great read that will help you to make decisions that aren’t not so heavily based off the raw emotions we sometimes deal with and can’t always control
Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions
Let Tay Tell It
Hello! I really connected to your post especially because I was in a relationship where I allowed a lot of things. And like you I like to block and ignore and shut off people until I am at a point where I can deal with the person peacefully. I wrote a post a few weeks ago called Allowance, explaining some similar points. http://www.unapologetickinkz.com/allowance/
Anywho this was great and it’s nice to know I’m not alone 😊
Yes you’re definitely not alone, thanks for the feedback! I’ll check out your post
I will be adding the book recommendation to my Goodreads and to be read pile. Letting go and moving on is something i really struggle with. Thank you for this post and a little encouragement.
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You’re welcome I’m glad it helped you!
I totally agree with you here. Sometimes I feel that women just want to be loved so they will let a lot of things slide, but we shouldn’t. Sometimes we are too scared of being single because we equate it with being alone, but being single isn’t being alone and it can let you work on yourself a lot more than if you are in a relationship. Women need to call out men, so we can start changing the values and norms of society. Sorry to hear about the hard time you recently had. Sending you a virtual hug. 🙂
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Agreed thank you!!!