Why do we as women take our frustrations out on our friends instead of addressing the man that is at the center of our frustrations?
Have you ever had a friend that just became mean all of a sudden after dealing with a guy or Have you ever been that mean friend? This is actually a lot more common then you think where women have so much misplaced anger which results in them treating their friends badly. As women we sometimes wear our emotions on our sleeves which result in us taking things out on the wrong person.
As a woman, dealing with the frustrations men cause us to go through is HARD and UNFAIR at times and for the life of us we cannot understand why some men bring this upon us. We go back and forth trying to understand, which causes us to bring on even more frustrations and sometimes when we go to our friends for advice or just for a listening ear it can either go very good or very bad. This happens because sometimes as women we choose to either not fully address the guy, who is the person we actually have the problem with, or we simply lash out on our friends when they tell us the truth we are not ready to hear.I have been on both sides of this; I have been the mean friend and I have been the friend who has dealt with a friend allowing a guy to frustrate her so bad it ultimately effected our friendship.
What I learned when I was the mean friend was that I allowed a frustrating situation with a guy I had known less then a year effect a friendship with someone I had known for over 5 years; thats when I realized I had to stop this. It really was a true wake up call because I almost lost a friendship that meant more to me then I realized at the time. I would lash out a lot and although my friend had a lot of patience I pushed her to a point where she could not deal with it anymore. It took a lot of apologizing and changed behavior to fix the friendship and all I can say is, I am grateful for her simply forgiving me.
What I learned when I was the friend who dealt with the mean friend who was taking her frustrations out on me instead of directly addressing the guy was that sometimes my advice is just too real for people at times. I also learned that it was on her to realize that if she did not make some changes I would no longer be able to be her friend. But all in all, the most important thing that I learned is that it is okay to step away from a friendship if it is becoming a headache. You cannot make your friend appreciate the friendship nor change her behavior, all you can do is control what you will and will not handle.
At the end of the day ladies, address the man and keep your friendship. You need your friends because when it is all said and done with that guy, your friend is the one who sticks by your side!
Let Tay Tell It
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