#relationships

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women continue to be loyal to someone who is not loyal to us?

The word loyalty means a lot when it comes to relationships and friendships because the people close to us are the ones we expect to be loyal to us no matter what. We judge people off loyalty because the way someone is loyal to another person can tell you a lot about the type of person they are. People become so stuck on making sure they are always fully loyal to their friends, family members, and significant others that they sometimes can’t tell when that person is not being fully loyal to them or they are completely blind sided when finding how just how loyal as person has been. Years of friendship ruined, family members cut off, and significant others left all over lack of loyalty; it is a serious thing.

There are so many ways to show your loyalty to someone from the way you take up for them, especially when they are not around to take up for themselves, to the way you lookout for them. If you are the type of person who is loyal to those around you that you care about then I applaud you 100% but what about the times when people have not been as loyal to you? Sometimes we give people the loyalty we expect but do not realize that everybody cannot give you that same loyalty in return which can be a hard pill to swallow. Loyalty helps to build trust and any type of relationship you have will not last if there is no trust.

I am the type of person who is very loyal to the people around me who I love and care about but there have been times where I misjudged someones loyalty to me and I had to find it out the hard way. For me, being loyal is an all or nothing type of thing so if you cannot be as loyal to me and I am to you then we have no business having any type of relationship. There have been times where I was being so loyal to a person only to find out they were not giving me the same loyalty in return.

I have found myself being loyal to a guy I was in a relationship with because in my mind being in a relationship had me thinking that a guy would automatically be loyal to me; I was wrong and I could not see how wrong I was because feelings clouded my judgement. I have even been loyal to a guy that I was not in a relationship with because again it is just the type of person I am. It took more incidents then it should, in both of those situations, for me to finally realize that I was being loyal to a guy who did not deserve one ounce of loyalty from me. To this day I regret it but things happen; you learn from them, move on, and do better next time. We have to remember that it is okay to stop giving people things when we are not given the same in return; never let your loyalty make a fool of you.

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women try to put a title on something before even talking to the guy we are dealing with?

Ladies, whether we do it on purpose or not, we often end up in situations that we know we could have avoided if we handled things differently. I truly believe that some of the problems we encounter and the hurt with deal with, when it comes to men, could be avoided if we asked a guy what his intentions are in the beginning. You have to go into these situations with guys knowing what you want and expect and making those things very clear. Either a guy is going to respect it and be on the same page with you or he is not and one thing is for sure, YOU CANNOT PUT A TITLE ON A SITUATION IF YOU ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE WITH THE GUY YOU ARE DEALING WITH.

Sometimes we get involved with guys and determine how things will be before realizing that the guy isn’t even on the same page as us. We start to care more, do more, and expect more from a man that does not care. Don’t get me wrong, guys lead us on a lot of the time but SOMETIMES we as women also play a major part in things falling apart as well. Sleeping with a guy and “talking” to a guy DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU TWO ARE EXCLUSIVE; how can you automatically assume something when no conversation has happened about where things are and where they are going. You also have to know the type of woman  you are when it comes to men because it will help you to avoid a lot of the hurt you may deal with.

I understand wanting more from these men then they are ready to give us but recognize the part you may be playing in the situation that has done you more bad then good. Once you realize it remember it and carry that with you into the next situation so you won’t make the same mistake again. Now, this is not me saying that you will deal with this when it comes to all men, this is me saying that the way things went in the last situation you dealt with should tell you that something needs to change moving forward. If you have certain expectations you are no longer willing to budge on, make that clear. If sex before a relationship is something you cannot handle, make that clear. If you are at a point where playing around and dating different men isn’t you’re thing any more, make it clear.

As a woman you have every right to make it clear what you want and expect NO MATTER WHAT but what you SHOULD NOT do is put a title on situations before even talking to the guy you’re dealing with; you are guaranteed to get your feelings hurt. If you can avoid getting your feelings hurt or ending up in situations that aren’t good for you, DO IT.

Let Tay Tell It

Why Do We As Women?

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Why do we as women say things we do not mean in relationships?

Ladies, just try to hear me out on this one, okay? It has become a natural and pretty much normal thing to hear guys talk about what a female really means when she says certain things. For example as a female when my man asks me “What is wrong with you” I will typically say “nothing, I’m fine” but my man knows deep down that if he just says okay and does not ask me again or try to get me to talk, it becomes a problem. How about when you are having an argument and you say to your man “leave me alone” but in reality we do not literally mean for you to leave us alone. These are just a few examples of us women saying things we don’t really mean; it is almost as if we want to test our man to see how far he would go to make sure we are okay. This is good and all, SOMETIMES, but then you have other situations where you say mean things to a guy because you’re hurt or because you’re dealing with a good guy and you don’t know how to handle it.

You play a tricky game when you say things you do not mean, you have to be careful. If your man is asking you what is wrong, tell him; he’s asking because he cares so don’t make him beg you every time. If you are in a situation and you want to tell your man to leave you alone just to see what he will do, don’t get mad if he actually leaves you alone; guys take things literally so most of the time they will not automatically think that you telling them to leave you alone, doesn’t actually mean that. With that being said, there are some times where I am all for making your man work hard to figure out what is going on especially if he is the cause of problem and knows what he did wrong; sometimes guys will “act” as if they do not know but they do.

We also have to be careful saying mean things in the heat of an argument. Ladies it should come to no surprise that our words can cut a man deep especially if it comes from a woman he truly loves; he may not show it how effected him like we as women do but it definitely does. An argument and/or disagreement should not the time where we try to hurt each other because nothing gets accomplished and feelings get hurt off of things being said that a person probably didn’t even mean. You do not want to loose someone you love from saying something that you didn’t even mean. I have seen women use their words to try to tear down a good man because lets be honest; dealing with good guys these days seems rare. If all you have ever known are lying, cheating, dishonest men why wouldn’t you expect a good to be putting on a front? Why wouldn’t you start to doubt the situation after while? Why wouldn’t you start to question things? I understand but to tear down a good guy by saying things that aren’t true can cause more harm then good so don’t push that good man away, embrace him.

From testing your man to tearing down a good guy plus any and everything that falls in between that, all results in saying things we do not mean. Things should flow pretty easily in a relationship so do not make it a permanent habit of saying things you do not mean or you may cause more problems then necessary. Also, always remember that your words hold more power then you may know.

Let Tay Tell It